Author Jefferey Spivey
Surrogacy is quickly becoming a more desirable family planning option for gay men in America. For those men hoping to establish a biological connection with their child, a surrogate pregnancy offers more promise than adoption. Though the process is exciting, it can also be expensive and full of roadblocks. You might think the coast is clear once your surrogate is pregnant but you could still face challenges throughout the pregnancy stage.
Your surrogate mother may not be a part of your everyday lives but you’re still responsible for ensuring her health as well as the health of the baby. Throughout the pregnancy, you’ll foot the bill for her checkups and any required medications like prenatal vitamins. According to surrogacy company Growing Generations, it’s common for surrogate mothers to undergo more frequent checkups than traditional expectant mothers. The total cost of the surrogacy process could top out at $150,000. So, be sure to save up to avoid being caught off guard.
As mentioned earlier, it’s likely your surrogate mother will not be close by. However, she’s still a pregnant woman whose mobility will be reduced as she moves further along in the pregnancy. It’s important to ensure she has help. She needs someone with her to help with chores, lifting heavy items, and getting her to and from appointments in the latter stages. But she’ll also need emotional support. Plan to check in with her along the way to make sure she’s in a positive place. You’ll want to get a pulse check on the results from her checkups and keep general tabs on her well-being.
You’ll probably have a legal team on board before the surrogacy is underway. During the pregnancy, this is the perfect time to make sure you’ve got all your affairs in order. Gay parenting and surrogacy laws vary greatly from state to state. If you aren’t familiar with local regulations, it’s important you study up during this time to make sure you’re acting in accordance with the law. Gay men are most at risk for legal challenges once the baby is born—especially if the surrogacy is taking place in a foreign country.
Expanding your family is an exciting time. If you prepare thoroughly, the pregnancy stage will be just as exciting and problem-free.